MARRIAGE: An Ideal or Ordeal?

One day I came across a statement about marriage that read:

“Marriage is like a besieged city, those inside are struggling to come out whiles those outside are struggling to enter”

The above statement paints a gloomy picture of marriage that makes some people view the marriage relationship as an ordeal. The answer to the question as to whether marriage is an ideal or ordeal can best be answered by an individual, based on what ‘lens’ the individual is looking at marriage from.

When viewed from the ‘lens’ of God’s word, the marriage relationship can be seen as being an ideal, because when God created all the living creatures, they were created male and female and they had active relationships. But concerning man, he was without a partner so God said ‘it is not good for man to be alone’. God therefore made the woman and brought her to the man.

This Genesis account of the first marriage was the ideal pattern of God for marriage. Marriage therefore, from God’s point of view is an ideal.

What then makes many view marriage as an ordeal? Couples think they are perfect for each other on the wedding day and the subsequent honeymoon period. After a month or two of wedded bliss, they wake up to the reality of marriage. This is when the real marriage journey begins and the couple now begin to find faults with each other. They see their individual weaknesses and shot-comings and it’s like “how come I didn’t see all these”, “I wouldn’t have married you if I knew of this”.

What many couple don’t realize early enough in the marriage is that when you are courting you see each other at your best. Both of you spend time getting ready to meet each other. The man who at this time seem to be walking in a crazy maze of love, will do strange things. But after the wedding comes the marriage. You wake up from the dreamland to the real world and the make-up, the Paco Rabane aftershave and Channel Number 5 perfume are all gone. In their place you are greeted with morning breath, scratchy whiskers. And as if that is not enough shock, you realize that even the teeth and hair are false ones.

This rude awakening may sound funny, but it is real. This reality is what many are not prepared for and may not be able to adjust to immediately, and therefore conclude that marriage is an ORDEAL instead of an IDEAL.

What is your opinion? Is marriage an Ideal or Ordeal? Send your comments please.