WHAT IS CLEAVAGE IN MARRIAGE?

CLEAVING: Hebrew - Dabaq

Means:
a) To cling, glue to, adhere, stick (requires one time effort and remain passive)
b) To catch by pursuit, follow after, overtake


Cleaving is to be a constant attitude and activity of passion.

HUSBAND: PURSUE


WIFE : RESPOND

To cleave together involves:


a) Doing things together
b) Trust for each other and transparency
c) Loving and understanding one another
d) Taking walks together
e) Keeping communication lines open always
f) Eating, taking baths together
g) Praying together
h) Sharing and uniting goals and ambitions.

WHAT IS THE PATTERN OF MARRIAGE?

While marriage is ordained and sustained by God, Man's responsibility is to

LEAVE, CLEAVE and BECOME ONE FLESH. (Gen 2; 24-25).

1) LEAVING:

This gives opportunity for bonding and intimacy to grow without interference from family members

Enhances unity between a couple

Allow couple to set up their own Christian values and practices in their home.

Suggested Areas of Leaving:

1. Governmental: Authority and loyalty change hands (from father to husband

2. Geographical: The men must leave from under their parents’ roof and woman must leave and create their own marital home

3. Emotional: Where will you go to when there is tension in your marriage? Leave unhealthy attachments to family members.

4. Psychological: Unhealthy comparison between parents, their home and yours. Seek to belong to your new home setting.

5. Financial: Learn to live within your means without dependence on your families.

6. Social: Satisfy three authorities;

• Family - customary rites
• State - registration of marriage at court. Under ordinance law
• God - blessing of marriage

7. Spiritually: A new institution is created and new priorities established. A new family has been created a new family alter must be built with the husband taking the lead in devotional times and family worship.

While the mandate remains to honour parents, you depend first of all upon one another.

You are one flesh with only one person - YOUR SPOUSE not parents, children or the church.

Parents must release their children which often takes time, explanation and understanding.

The Dangers of Not Leaving

1. Unfair competition in the kitchen. A woman (mother) with the experience of meeting man's needs for 20 years or more is now competing with a beginner (wife) who is just trying to discover what her husband's needs are.

2. Husband will not be the head of the house because his father is the head and his word is law.

3. Husbands will remain his father's small boy.

4. New couple will not learn responsibility because father will handle the business of the home.

5. Couple invites interference in their marriage.

Leaving Is Not Forsaking

Affirm the value of the extended family by pointing out that leaving does not mean abandonment, neglect or leaving in anger or to escape from parents.

Note that I Tim. 5:8 put emphasis on the "immediate family" (NIV) as a couple you will need priority. Now, as a couple you will need to discuss together what your responsibilities are to both sides of the family and decide together how you will meet those obligations.

WHAT IS THE PURPOSE OF MARRIAGE?

i. Companionship (Gen. 2:18-24)- To bring about fellowship and love. To have a companion who sticks to us under all circumstances, who in sharing our difficulties makes them less burdensome, and in sharing our joys and success enhances them making them more enjoyable.

ii. To raise a godly seed (Mal.2:14-15) However no children in marriage should never serve as the basis for problems, divorce or polygamy.

iii. For the preservation of purity and sanity in the society (1 Corinthians 9:7).

WHAT IS A MARRIAGE COVENANT?

1. A Covenant of Sacrifice

2. A Covenant of Sharing and Security

Everything is shared in common: the partner’s bodies, income and debts. It is no longer yours and mine but ours

Partners strengths are to be put together to provide protection for each other. They think and act for the benefit of each other.

 

3. A Covenant of Companionship

Companionship and friendship is the heart and focus of marriage relationship.

4. A Covenant Made In Heaven

God has joined the two parties (Matt. 19:6)

God is the third party in the covenant relationship. Eccl. 4:12

It is sealed by vows - Eccl. 5:4-6

 

Marriage is the first institution (Gen. 2: 22-24) and is chosen as a picture of the covenant of love between Jesus and the Church (Eph. 5: 31-32). Marriage is to be HELD IN HONOUR i.e. esteemed worthy, precious, of great price (Heb 13: 4). Note: Guard against any thought, attitude, word, or action that dishonours or makes light of one another or the marriage relationship. Society often makes a mockery of marriage and denies its covenant holiness through sexual perversion.

 

This union of man and wife is a holy mystery created by God; A life-long commitment to be developed and sustained by Him. He doesn't give room for divorce (Eph 5:22, 23; Mal. 2:13-16)