Remember that even though fondling is holy in the marriage context Gen. 26:8, premarital fondling and/or sex have their set of dangers.
You stir up passions beyond control and either burn, masturbate, harbour impure thoughts and/or fornicate. Even where one partner is strong enough to go unscathed, the other may well have committed adultery already in his heart:
“But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” Matt. 5:28
You cannot correct each other permanently. The close-fisted brother for whom even tithe-paying is a problem will not permanently change when he knows he has already had his way around you.
Such a relationship can lead to an unhappy marriage for which you are not prepared:
“If a man seduces a virgin who is not pledged to be married and sleeps with her, he must pay the bride-price, and she shall be his wife. If her father absolutely refuses to give her to him, he must still pay the bride-price for virgins.” Exo. 22:16-17
Even if pregnancy does not result, blackmail alone can lead you to marry an alcoholic, a prostitute, a would-be backslider, wife-beater, etc. which you never bargained for.
If fondling during courtship results in sex, it haunts you forever and makes you distrust each other long after you are married.
The man can hate you later, just as Amnon did to Tamar (2 Sam. 13:15). He can choose to go to greener ‘pastures’ after ‘spoiling’ you.
You risk getting AIDS and other related venereal diseases if sex takes place.
You injure the conscience of other younger Christians and blaspheme the name of the Lord before unbelievers who quickly get to know your nefarious activities (I Cor. 8:10; Rom. 14:15).
There must be an obvious way in which Christian courtship is different from the boyfriend-girl friend relationships of the world. Admittedly, the global pressure of pornography, indiscriminate sex, and falling morality standards even in Christian circles, can make the prospective groom or bride succumb to sex. But the Bible is clear on the injunction not to follow the crowd in doing wrong (Exod. 23:2). In addition it admonishes:
“Everyone who confesses the name of the Lord must turn away from iniquity” (2 Tim. 2:19)
“Flee the evil desires of youth, and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.” (2 Tim. 2:22)
If a marriage will not work out well in future, then almost invariably God gives His ‘red light’ signals to the wary partner during the courtship so that prayerfully, the relationship can be broken. The careless, prayer less partner who is off-guard will fail to notice every danger sign sent from heaven.
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